Last letter for the love that i once had

Perhaps, I was never fit to take that special place in your heart. I am just a simple person. I can't be proud of anything but my academic life and good mind molded by years of hard work and devotion to learning.

I am not as good looking as the others. I am not as rich. I am not as amazing. I can't offer you nothing but a heart that already belongs to you, a heart that beats only for you, a heart that yearns for you. And it was broken when we officially agreed that it's over.

I wanna believe that you don't intend to hurt me...I tried not to be hurt. I tried to deny it. I tried to forget. But all efforts were futile, cause I already fell deep into the abyss of that bottomless pit that I've always tried to avoid.

It hurts to set you free. It was excruciatingly painful to let you go. For you're my life's greatest lost. And losing you is my life's greatest downfall.

Go where your heart desires. Go where your heart finds bliss. Surrender was never part of my vocab but if you'll ask me to I'll swallow my pride. Even if they call me a loser, I won't mind. I admit I can't move on. It's just been days but it still feels like it was yesterday.

I'm sure my friends already got tired of listening and absolutely annoyed by the absurdity of my pathetic self holding on to something so obviously hopeless. It's not just easy. Every idle moment, I can think of you. Recalling your every line. Have memorized it by heart the way I've memorized a thesis.

Imagining how you laugh hysterically at my stupidity, I can't help but smile. And then I'd feel pain- a crushing pain that penetrates deep realizing I can't have you back. I know how I sound pathetic here and I need you to know. I want you to know before I finally let you go.

I don't ask for your pity. I don't plead that you turn your back and take me. I just want you to be happy. I can carry the pain. I can bear the pain. I can still survive because like you said live life to the fullest. I agree there's more to life.

But remember this... You're one great thing that made my life worth living. And you'll always be. I know this wound will heal and will leave a scar. I know it will remind me of the pain...but it will also remind me that I once lost myself in loving someone, gave a love that is so selfless and so big.

You'll be part of my painful past...but I don't want to remember you as that. I will not think about the main reason that set us apart. I will always think of our happy moments. We can't be friends. Not now. Maybe the time will come our paths will cross again. Maybe that time I'll be ready for the friendship.

I always want you to be happy. And that's what I want from the bottom of my heart. Nothing will be happier than to see someone you love happy. Even if without me. Even if it's not because of me.

This is gonna be the last time that you will hear from me. I'm letting you go...take my heart with you because I can't see myself loving someone else aside from you. My love had been honest and pure but now it's tainted. I can't imagine loving someone else as much as I love you.

I know this will still take time for me to move on. Lots of time and a lot of getting used to. But I'll be fine. I know that the time will come that I will be fine...without you...