"The Rules" from the male side

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

"The Rules" from the female side

1. Don't always expect us to call you.. The phone works both ways!! You know the drill!!

1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

1. Birthdays, V-day, & Anniversaries are important to us... Can't you remember three important dates out of the whole year!? We remember them.. Why can't you!?

1. Don't say you understand when you don't.

1. Girls are petty, get over it.

1. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

1. Sweet talk will always get you off the hook.

1. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.

1. "Hanging out with the guys" can not consume all your time!! We need time too!!

1. You can come shopping with us!! We would do it for you! So don't complain the whole time!!!

1. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

1. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

1. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

1. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

1. You can put the toilet seat down.... That's how you found it!!

1. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

1. We are drama queens.

1. Fashion police do exist.

1. If our shoes aren't exactly the right shade someone will notice.

1. Talk about your feelings sometimes... it helps A LOT!!

1. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball or anything else you and your friends talk about.

1. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

1. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

1. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

1. Shave- no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

1. Even is you think it is cool to burp, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.

1. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

1. We are beautiful, but make-up helps.

1. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

1. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick so why can't you hit inside the toilet?

1. Most importantly- we are always right- so don't forget it.

Love Quotes by BoB Ong

I heart Bob Ong books...of course isa syang magaling na pinoy na manunulat...kung hindi mo sya kilala let me share some of his famous love quotes...and i know makakarelate ka...


1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

- very true. wag ka ng paasa. masakit yun. be true to the person and yourself.

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

-hihiwalayan mo tapos magsisisi ka...e bakit mo pinakawalan? (tsk)

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

-eto pa..kung iiwan mo lang wag mo na mahalin. mahirap yun.

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

-wag ka mamangka sa 2 ilog. pwede kang malunod sa isa sa mga yon.

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

-e bakit nga ba pinagsisiksikan ang sarili sa taong di ka na mahal. malay mo may iba jan na mas mamahalin ka.

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

-nice one. sabagay pag nagantay ka baka maging single ka for life.

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

- :D love this. yeah move on. lilipas din yan...

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

-korek. masasayang lang yung panahon mo na imbes ginagamit mo sa paghahanap ng iba e napupunta lang sa taong hindi deserving ng oras mo.

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

-hehe. choice mo yan eh. magdusa ka. lol

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

-tama. di ka kuntento sa una? sa pangalawa ka. pero pag gusto mo silang dalawa...karamutan na yon.

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

-wag masyadong kumagat. nakakasira ng ulo minsan yan.

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

-isa lang ibig sabihin nito. wag ka tumingin ng maganda o gwapo. humanap ka ng perfect match mo. dahil sabi nga ni bob ong..humuhulas ang ganda.

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

-dapat alam mo kung saan ka lulugar.

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

-kaya may tinatawag na bida at support lang.

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

-this is my favorite. haay. well said. no need to comment.

16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

-at least nag try ka kahit walang nangyari.

17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

-wag maging sarado ang isip sa mga bagay bagay. mag isip muna bago humusga.

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

-minsan dapat iniisip din kung karapatdapat yung taong mamahalin mo...pero minsan din mahirap hindi maging tanga..lalo na kasi nagmamahal ka lang.

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

- i agree. mas ok na to...kesa namn tuluyan ka ng kainin ng poot pag dating ng panahon.

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

-hindi masama mag mahal. pero dapat iniisip mo din kung hanggang saan lang ang kaya mo.

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

-mismo. kaya ingat ingat. may mga mata ka at pag iisip. gamitin mo.


ano...nakarelate ka ba? :D

Even a Stopped Clock is Right Twice a Day

Staring blankly at my monitor. I still can't believe about what had just happened. In just a matter of seconds anything can change. I didn't know how fragile my heart is until it was broken by the man that i thought who will love me more than anything.

Someone once said, when we are born, we start to die. Maybe that’s why babies cry when they are born. A baby feels and smells death from the moment air enters its lungs. It invades the new body and starts its mission of destruction. So we learn to fear death from birth. What a misconception. Death may not be a thing to look forward to, but there is something else that creeps up on us… something worse than death. Loss. And everything that comes with it. Pain. The pain that is worth a thousand tears.

I already understood that you're not coming back. I firmly believe no one is ever always wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. I determine the worth of a person by how much love he/she gives to those around them, how hard they work at being better in everything they do and how much time they spend not judging other people's shortcomings and inadequacies. I do not assume. I do not lie. I always ask to get the truth. I do not doubt. I always see things differently. That's how I am.

People sometimes misunderstood me. My way of thinking. I do not normally react to things. I am unpredictable. Are these qualities made you change your ways? I didn't ask you to be perfect. I just asked you to dig deeper. I want to sit around, sulk, whine and cry all the pain. The pain is overwhelming. I feel really awful. I think I had to give myself a time to feel hurt and get angry. Maybe I'll forget about you.The connection that we already established will be lost and that special thing that we had will be gone. Forever.

Everything is broken. My heart. My world has been ripped apart. Everything is just a game for you. And by thinking of that hurts the most. I won't plead. I won't beg and I won't cry desperately just for you to take me back. I remember a friend when she and her guy broke up. I remember you. Everything about you. About us. I started to read those conversations that we had again, remember how crazy you are, how you made me fall in love with you. I thought I knew you like an open book, that I thought you were sincere when you told me that you won't break me. That you don't want to see me hurt. Now I am. Very much.

Is it falling in love or falling apart? I thought love can move mountains, but why love ruined my world? I can't be perfect but I tried to be one because of you. Because I want to love you perfectly even if I have learned to love your imperfections. I have realized that leaving may have been a hasty action, a wrong decision...but it's not me who asked for us to be friends when you know boldly that we can't be. I can't accept the fact that I can only be just a friend. I told myself not to cry but my tears have its own mind. It won't stop. I want my heart to stop beating for you. Every corner of my mind is screaming your name. I want to wake up and think of this as just a dream but why waking up is the hardest part? Because I know the reality. That you are not mine. Not anymore and will never be again.

I told myself not to give up but will I still hope if you're the one who gave me up? Allis gone... I may not be your everything anymore but I hope you'll remember me as the one who did not gave up on you.

The pain of moving on...

For a heart that's been torn, there's not much you can do
but to understand...

remember this words?
dont worry i will free u when it's finally time for you to go

there's no easy way to let go of something that i know will never happen again...

but i will face the world around me knowing that i am strong enough to let you go...

i'm aware that you only came into my life for a while, and that time will come i have to give you up,

then that's the end of it

there goes my life...

you left me at the very moment that i can't give you up

i shed tears for memories, i cried for the pain, i cried for the times i thought i had you...

i know you're not mine but holding on to you have become my way to keep me alive...

wish you see the tears run from my eyes coz it spells the truth about how i really feel inside...

don't worry my tears won't blame you...those are just words my heart uses to explain...

when even my smiles cant cover up my pain

it's been a while still i can't get out from your shadow...

till this very moment im trying to pick up those pieces...

thank you for the love and the pain, the pain that i'll always remember...

even now my heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow.

one day i can say,

finally, i'm over you...

you're still with me eventhough you're not on my side...

One day i will be able to stand next to you without wanting to hold your hand...

somewhere down my journey,

i will fall in love again,

i know...

i can...

A promise to keep

This is the day that will turn my world around because I will erase all the doubts and fear that is covering my head. Time to breathe more. Love more. Care more. Understand more. Hope more. I've been laying down my cards again...I told you before that I'll gamble...bet on you. I am not sure if I'm gonna win.. But here's the promise that I will keep, whatever it takes I'll bet everything for you. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to experience how to be loved by you...when you asked me to be your world I've made you mine. We'll do everything to make this work...until we both grow and mature, we'll love perfectly until we both learn how to love each other's imperfections, learn to accept each other's fault and learn how to forgive. We will make this worthwhile enough to be special not just important...and lastly until we learn about how to love each other without expecting something in return...

I will love you more than you'll ever know...that's a promise that I will keep.

Thank you for making me happy and for giving me the reason to smile everyday. I love you more and more each day and I will love you more tomorrow, the day after that and the week after that...

I will never get tired loving you.

The best thing about me is you

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins, it is less difficult to know that it has begun... but the fate... I have made my peace with it, the endless pounding turmoil and uncertainty. I've learned to not notice the ground that is missing beneath my feet. I've learned to not even look to see if it is there. When you look down, you fall. That is the lesson I have learned from loving. When you love, you see no boundaries, no end, no measurement.

You've seduced my heart and captured it in a way I never believed possible. You complete me, in a way that steals my breath and makes me fill every quiet moment I have with thoughts of you. This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper than what you can imagine.

I wish you could see how much you mean to me. If you look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that my heart is yours completely. I trust you and respect you. You are the missing piece to a very complex puzzle. You will always be embedded deep within my heart. I adore you and I am yours as long as you will have me. I'm so in love with you and you can't take that away and if I've said it a hundred times before ,expect a thousand more.

Whenever you're not with me, I always ask If you love me, because i love the way you make it sound. I thought that the world had lost it's way, then I fell in love with you and the rest was history. You've showed me what's new and I feel like I can fly just thinking that you're there for me.

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war. No one said this would be easy... Will you last through the obstacles and challenges that lay before us? I'm weak but so long as you're there nobody can break me, you are my refuge, my strength.
We all search for love because it is the closest thing to magic. And when i found you i thought that nothing could compare. The feeling is inexplicable. It is like a flint that sparks a flame that will either flicker and burn out or continue with a warming glow. Ours will never stop burning because the fire that we started is so strong...so warm...so bright. I am not perfect but i want to be the best you'll ever have. Count on it. I will love you the best that i can.

Untitled

In a relationship, there are times that your mind and heart will be put into test. It's not always smooth as you go along and the ride might get bumpy at times. Petty quarrels will be there but at the end of the day you'll still have time to say how much you love each other. And that is what's important.

In our case, we always make those moments as our defining moment because after every misunderstanding, we'll appreciate the importance of each other. I asked you one time if you know what magic is...and I told you that it's having the power to make someone happy without having to do a single thing and in my life you have been nothing but magic. You're the only truth that I know in this world of lies, you're my peace of mind, my contentment. I've never been in love this way, and I never knew how to love this much until I met you. You gave me the reason to love, to hope, to dream. My life is full of wrong decisions, I've made mistakes along the way, several wrong turns, I've stumbled and fell out of range and now the only thing that is right for me is you and you're the only reason that kept me going and the reason why I still keep on holding on.

I don't have much to share, but my thoughts will always be full of you, I don't have much to give but my love will always over flow for you and even if sometimes I don't have a sense of direction, just one smile from you will lead me to the right place. With you I will never be lost. I've learned to trust you with all my heart. And by loving you, my life seems to stop there. You have absorbed me. Sinking deeper and deeper. You have ravished me away by a power I cannot resist. I am strong but you're the only person who can make me feel weak...and I like it that way. I've been living my life right now in the best way I know how and loving you is the best part of it. Thank you for helping me putting my life back on the right track.

Gone astray

Darkness consumes my soul with every step... Yet still I walk and walk and walk. Searching, searching for something elusive, something essential that will make my life complete knowing that I had it once but now I don't know where it is...

Despair claws at my core, heartache consumes my being, indifference is what I strive for, always trying to lessen the ache of being alone...without you... Friends are there yet, not around, they try to understand, but how can they understand when I can’t fathom what’s erroneous.

Smiling faces all around, laughing, full of glee… lot's of questions running in my mind, poison in my soul and wounds, slowly consuming, ever consuming until all is gone.

Love,compassion, memories all fades to nothingness in the face of sadness and freezing cold hatred for all things light and pure… the world is inky black and devoid of hope...

I am alone again...

Last letter for the love that i once had

Perhaps, I was never fit to take that special place in your heart. I am just a simple person. I can't be proud of anything but my academic life and good mind molded by years of hard work and devotion to learning.

I am not as good looking as the others. I am not as rich. I am not as amazing. I can't offer you nothing but a heart that already belongs to you, a heart that beats only for you, a heart that yearns for you. And it was broken when we officially agreed that it's over.

I wanna believe that you don't intend to hurt me...I tried not to be hurt. I tried to deny it. I tried to forget. But all efforts were futile, cause I already fell deep into the abyss of that bottomless pit that I've always tried to avoid.

It hurts to set you free. It was excruciatingly painful to let you go. For you're my life's greatest lost. And losing you is my life's greatest downfall.

Go where your heart desires. Go where your heart finds bliss. Surrender was never part of my vocab but if you'll ask me to I'll swallow my pride. Even if they call me a loser, I won't mind. I admit I can't move on. It's just been days but it still feels like it was yesterday.

I'm sure my friends already got tired of listening and absolutely annoyed by the absurdity of my pathetic self holding on to something so obviously hopeless. It's not just easy. Every idle moment, I can think of you. Recalling your every line. Have memorized it by heart the way I've memorized a thesis.

Imagining how you laugh hysterically at my stupidity, I can't help but smile. And then I'd feel pain- a crushing pain that penetrates deep realizing I can't have you back. I know how I sound pathetic here and I need you to know. I want you to know before I finally let you go.

I don't ask for your pity. I don't plead that you turn your back and take me. I just want you to be happy. I can carry the pain. I can bear the pain. I can still survive because like you said live life to the fullest. I agree there's more to life.

But remember this... You're one great thing that made my life worth living. And you'll always be. I know this wound will heal and will leave a scar. I know it will remind me of the pain...but it will also remind me that I once lost myself in loving someone, gave a love that is so selfless and so big.

You'll be part of my painful past...but I don't want to remember you as that. I will not think about the main reason that set us apart. I will always think of our happy moments. We can't be friends. Not now. Maybe the time will come our paths will cross again. Maybe that time I'll be ready for the friendship.

I always want you to be happy. And that's what I want from the bottom of my heart. Nothing will be happier than to see someone you love happy. Even if without me. Even if it's not because of me.

This is gonna be the last time that you will hear from me. I'm letting you go...take my heart with you because I can't see myself loving someone else aside from you. My love had been honest and pure but now it's tainted. I can't imagine loving someone else as much as I love you.

I know this will still take time for me to move on. Lots of time and a lot of getting used to. But I'll be fine. I know that the time will come that I will be fine...without you...

Moving forward

I am entranced by the lilting cadence of your speech, the way you almost slur the things you almost shouldn't be saying to me. What an eloquence. You present me with a bouquet of verbiage more impressive than any I've seen at train station florists. I am shredded by the stories you have to share, and something within me responds, holding, comforting, listening. I am charmed by tales of the past from a skilled narrator and other humanizing anecdotes. They filter into my mind, and I am smitten. The pieces make a narrative my mind can accept, can dwell in. By now, all my power is yours, but I'll just pretend I'm stronger than that. Once it turned out to see that the similarities are frightening. We'll laugh with bewilderment, and we'll put on silly voices and console ourselves by saying we did all we could. When the veil fell, you told the same half-truths as anyone's ever told, fell into the same hypocritical messes, wrapped yourself in the same tired convention and dogma. I cannot love you the way that I want to. You don't belong to me anymore. My thoughts are bound with the threads of your ideas and visions that feverishly sparked across your mind. Tides of tears were unstoppable. My bright eyes rest behind the lids, and you mumble-hum your own tune no longer. I'm still trying to find a way to dance to it, though...

For the love that i once had

Memories not pinned like butterflies to a dusty board, but fluid, wild, epic, circling and spinning and wild with possibilities. It is still a form of possession, but it's the only one worth having. A ha'penny's worth of experience and everything plays like new when you close your eyes. The only thing that can't be taken, the only thing that can't be given up.And just in my memory, he lived, not forgotten and still loved. I still posses him... Still have him. In my dream nor in my memory, he hasn't changed a bit. The sweetness of his voice and his loving eyes. I don't want to put him in my dreams for when I woke up, he'll be gone completely... He'll be in my heart so that every time it beats he will be remembered.

I missed him.

Missing him isn’t the hardest part.

Knowing that I once had him is...

Forever is a lie

One of the reasons why people get so sentimental because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything else does. There are things in life that you can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful. When you met someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross.. but what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really meant to stay...but only destined to make you fell in love and leave you when you've already fallen.

It's not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave your love...some might think it's just an excuse... some might not actually believe... some will blame you... some might be even mad at you...what they don't see is the fact that it hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt...especially when you can't actually state the reason why you have to leave...you can never own something that was never yours...so let's stop gripping on things we expect to last forever...Nothing last forever... forever is a lie...everything is transitory...so while you have something in your hand, put in mind that it's just borrowed...so that someday when it's gone, it won't take eternity just to let it go...when your feelings get strong for someone, it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe...a time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion because the saddest thing that can happen is when one fall in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship...love can sometimes be magic...but magic can sometimes be an illusion...there are times when i wish that i was limited to certain emotions so that i'll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken but same thing means that i'll never know how it feels to love and be loved in return... The thought of it kind of scares me...to have a heart that's whole but numb...or a heart that's broken but real...

Someday we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to love, get hurt, cry and fight. Maybe when that time comes, we'll all be laughing at our old dumb selves...realizing how stupid we were to stand up for things we knew weren't really meant for us...but I guess learning takes time, and mistakes make one's journey fun...life is what we make it.... Love makes the world go round...so let's live, love and take whatever pain it brings...though it's hard to wait around for something that I know will never happen...it's harder to stop when I know it's everything I always wanted...but you know what? I am glad...I am glad it happened...

Finally

I've been so restless these past few days. My mind won't stop thinking about you. I don't know if I can say that I am lucky because I found you. I've been in painful relationships. I've suffered more than my heart can take but still I am standing straight and ready to embrace another chance of falling in love again. Yeah, I am brave. Brave enough to love over and over again. Pain is love's evil twin. You cannot separate them. That's what I always tell myself. If I open my heart to fall in love again that means I am inviting pain in. I don't care. I know you can say that I am careless...but if being careless can make me happy...why should I stop? Here I am again writing blogs. I know you can't read this, but I just want you to know that I am ready to take a chance again...and this time it's with you. Thank you for being there for me and for loving me this much. I really appreciate it. I love to hear your voice everyday and just a simple "hi" and "I miss you"is already enough to make my day complete. Thank you for reminding me that there are still plenty of reasons for me to smile about and you are one of them. I won't hold myself back when it comes to falling in love. I wanna fall with you completely. I won't mind loving you everyday. I'll just be here...

Waiting in Vain

I am in deep shit. Should I swallow my bitter pills? I hope there's someone who won't need what I got. I know that I am inadequate and stubborn. Geez, I got screwed at first now I can't untangle the knot. I am in a slanting position and ready to fall back down really hard.

I told myself to knock it all off, but how can I do that if I don't even know where to start. Now, I agree that relationships are messy. You'll just drag yourself into something that eventually might hurt you like hell. I did drag myself into this dreadful situation. Darn. I know this is stupid but is it too late to turn and walk away?

My heart is reeling and I am blinded by you. This is what I am afraid of. I am hurting. Big time. Why does this have to be harder than I thought it would be? Is this the end of the road for us? Are we just going to end it up here, walking away?

Not even a word uttered, you just simply walked away from me. I am holding on to the pain, no one said this is gonna be easy but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed and waiting for my luck to turn.

Should I stay or should I go?

But is this wrong if I hold on? I don't want to walk away from you. I ain't going anywhere. I can't complain cause this is what it's supposed to be. Anticipated pain from the start.. Now I am suffering.

I can't describe the way it felt when you said your goodbyes.

I know the way out but do you see what I see? I got nothing to hold on to and no reasons for me to stand for what I feel about you. I don't know where to pick up the pieces. My life is not on the line.

I can't be fine without you and you know that. I can't be okay. I can't relax and chill while feeling your cold heart fading away.

The reality of pain is embracing me with two arms...I'm trying to walk away and wait for you to take me back cause I know you're the only answer to all all of this...

But you're out of my life, completely gone now...

Hurry back to me...breathe life into the dead space and blow away the clouds of hate... You know what to do..i am still waiting for you. :(

Fool

I feel empty. I feel numb. I don't know why we ended up here and how's it never been so clear.

Sometimes I wish that I can turn back time to right all the wrongs that I did. But there is no U-turn. No coming back for me. I don't wanna look back with so much hatred in my heart. I wanna be healed. Go quietly somewhere without even a thought of you.

Everything lingers, the passion, the heat, the coldness. You're everywhere.

Even in the darkness I can feel you. Take the memories. I don't want it anymore. Take everything with you. Leave me alone.

This time this is what I really wanted. I'm getting tired. I have nothing without you, but I have to push through this. I don't give myself any second thought of holding back.

Now I know what I want in my life and what I really wanted. No bullshits. No alibis. No allegations. No pretensions.

No you.

I am tired. So tired of loving. So sick and tired of the same old bullshit every single freaking day.

Geez.. I hope I can say these lines in your face, but I can't.

I'm such a coward fool when it comes to you.


I love you.

That's the only thing I know and it scares me to death. Because I fell in love and I felt sorry for myself because I chose you. Darn.

Time

Time is wicked. The irony is, when you want to put your life on a fast track, time will start running slow and it'll be torturing your mind. Sometimes it flies for no reason, you'll be surprised that it's just gonna pass just like that and you'll realize that a minute had already passed and you were not able to spend it wisely.

Life sometimes is like a roller coaster ride. It is heart wrenching, mind boggling and there are times that it can make you puke and you just wanna pull it all together.

I don't know.

Time stops for no man, it goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you because there is always a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go and when that time arrives at least you can tell that you already did most of the things that made you whole.

No regrets.

Do not miss an opportunity because you'll never get it back. I already spent half of my life doing nothing but to prove myself to the world over and over. I hate it but i can't do anything about it. I guess that's how the world works, at least for me. The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. Isn't it shitty?

Well that's how it is. You have to cope up with the reality. It'll be the only way of your wailing soul's survival in this cruel world. What can i do if life is short? I want to do almost everything but how will I do that if my time is limited? Somebody told me that life is long and you don't have nothing to worry about. I told him that life is short and you have to live it to the fullest and make use of your time wisely and productively.

Darn.

My life needs a makeover.